Aftershock and emotions
by x Ace x Girl x Called x Ace x
Summary: Nyssa isn't coping well with his death... but then she finds she isn't the only one... *Set after Earthshock but before Time flight. Mentions Nysric*
1. Story :)

**Hey Guys! No introduction this time! Ace XD**

**Allons-y!**

* * *

Nyssa couldn't sleep. Couldn't relax. Couldn't concentrate. Couldn't deny it. Her mind kept wandering off to the one thing she wanted to escape from. She kept on remembering the earlier events of today. Those wrecked Cybermen!

She was cursed. That was another thing she couldn't deny. She'd lost everything : her planet, her father and now the boy she loved, which was being slowly followed by her sanity.

Not caring if she cuts herself, she tightened her grip around the remaining shards of his star badge for mathematical excellence. The badge he _used_ to wear proudly. The one he _would_ never take off - until today. She let her 7011th tear slip today. He would be proud by her counting. Especially since that was her one weak point in Mathematics, counting. Maybe she'd start counting down the days, the days until she'd appear and be locked up in a mental asylum...

Why did she have to be attacked by misfortune all the time? Why did she repel luck whenever it offered her a piece of its talent? She didn't know. All she knew was that she'd never forgive herself. She would give anything, _anything_ at all to let him live. As long as he was okay. But she couldn't. Because if she replaced him with herself, Nyssa knew he'd have to go through all the pain and stress she was currently experiencing.

Guilt. It was all she could feel. It was bubbling up inside the pits and caverns of her stomach and threatened to overwhelm her in a split second.

Her mind was racing - why? Why? Why did he have die? Why did he have to stay behind? Why was he so stubborn? Why wont the Doctor go back and save him? He had a time machine for goodness sake! The Trakenite's anger bubbled. So what if it could damage the universe to go back? Why would they care? They'd all be happy and Adric would be back!

No. Adric wouldn't want that. He'd probably forgotten her. He'd be with his brother (Varsh) up in heaven. He'll be enjoying himself.

_KNOCK!_

It dragged her out of her thoughts.

Nyssa unclenched her tense fist. She set down the Alzarian's old, ruined badge in her handkerchief - which was now drenched in tears she hadn't realised she'd shed - and placed it on her dresser. Shakily, she stumbled over to the white door, which belonged to her bedroom. Opening it, she discovered who'd created to knock. Shimmering and shining, Tegan's face was still wet from crying. In a flash, Nyssa realised Tegan was being tortured with the same emotions and was a replica of herself in appearance: shaken up, tear-streaked faces and crimson clouds hiding under their eyes - puffy and contagious.

They stood in silence for minutes; hours; days; years - they weren't sure. But as soon as they stopped deducing that they had both been curled up crying, they immediately hugged each other - crying on each others shoulders until they were found by the silent, still shell-shocked Doctor, lying on the floor by the edge of Nyssa's door, fully clothed and fast asleep on either corner. Tegan would go insane when she woke up to creased clothes. Their friend just gave a sad, weak smile, closed the door and headed to his own room...


	2. Bonus Chapter :)

**Hey guys! So this is a bonus chapter. I know many people haven't read this but I wanted to do this. The bit from Nyssa's diary I wrote in whilst updating my story: ****_Memories _****and thought it would suit being in here too. Ace XD**

**Allons-y!**

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She looked around seeing many things - the androids mask, the star chart and the book titled 'Black Orchid',which the Doctor had given him, just yesterday, on the pillow. It look the same as when he was here. Well, apart from the spine-chilling, blood-curdling feeling in the air, swarming around her.

It was then she saw a badge: a gold and blue, star-shaped badge. A gold and blue, star-shaped badge, which seemed very familiar. A gold and blue, star-shaped badge, which belonged to him. A gold and blue, star-shaped badge, which _was_ his. His gold and blue, star-shaped badge. It was in pieces. Fragments. Fragments, which she had found. Fragments, which she had found after his death. Nyssa didn't know how her heart never broke in doing so - because right now it was throbbing inside it's biological cage.

There was mathematical calculations stretching across the white room's walls. _Very complicated, _mathematical calculations stretching across the white room's walls. They were scribbled in pencil and were very rushed. A tally chart of arguments with the Doctor. _Arguments_. Hard to believe now...

She studied his room further - finding nothing of importance. The only thing of importance now was him.

The Trakenite noticed a notepad on the floor - and couldn't help but pick it up and start nosing and flicking through its pages.

' _145278963_

_X 145278963 _

_2.110597709035537e+16 '_

That was probably the simplest sum in there. Nyssa let out a small, weak chuckle as a river of tear flowed down her face. That was so very Adric.

She flicked through more:

_' = 205920 X y + p = 5148016'_

She gave a sad smile. She was right.

_' 26/04/1982: Teach Nyssa how to count (ask TARDIS when that day is)'_

Another tear formed in her eye and was sent spiraling down her flushed, red cheek.

That will never be able to be done now.

Nyssa raced to her room, needing to share her emotions. She returned with her 'Diary' as humans call it. The Doctor suggested she get one to her after Traken was destroyed, he'd regenerated and Adric - a tear slipped - was kidnapped by the Master, wearing her farther's face. This memory only made her cry more.

She began writing, expressing her emotions, in her curly, clear handwriting.

_"Adric's dead. I can't believe it. I woke up this morning expecting to find him scribbling more calculations on his walls, because he was frustrated after having yet another argument with the Doctor._

In reality, a tear slipped.

_"We never went anywhere today. I'm glad. The Doctor still hasn't spoken. Still shell-shocked. So am I - and Tegan._

In reality, a tear slipped.

_"I found his notebook today. It's mainly got algebra and any sort of Maths you can think of in there. I laughed for the first time since yesterday when I saw that. A weak laugh but still a laugh, none the less. That is- was so very him._

In reality, a tear slipped.

_"I'm crying now, as I was at that point. I found a note saying 'Teach Nyssa to count better' scheduled for tomorrow. It's too late to do now. I'll have to ask the Doctor to help once he's over his shock, which, despite all their arguments, hit him hard._

In reality, a tear slipped.

_"I wonder if he ever knew I loved him. I hope he did. I wonder if he ever love me. At least he'll be at peace now. With Varsh probably. Hopefully. I- Tegan's crying. I think I'm going to see her now._

In reality, a tear slipped.

_"Nyssa."_

A tear slipped.

* * *

She trudged carefully and silently into Tegan's room. Her friend was hugging he knees as she lent against the wall. Nyssa slid down next to the air-hostess, putting an arm around her and started to cry as well...


End file.
